本帖最后由 yongjia25 于 2017/8/16 16:30 编辑
不要以为Task 1 的Pie chart是很难搞定的一种图标类型，其实它和其他几种图表无异，都有一定的写作方法，只要掌握了正确的写作方法，想要像这位学生一样写出7.5分的小作文，真的不是难事哦！
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范文图
?These two pie charts illustrate the change of disbursement of household spending(1)on in six main categories, namely housing, food, health care, education, transportation and other in 1950 and 2010 in one country.
[(1): the change of disbursement of household spending — the change in average household disbursements; either we can say ‘change in average household disbursements’ or ‘change in average household spending.’]
In 1950, housing held the largest share of household expenditure, however, the proportion of spending on housing experienced a significant decrease from 72.1% to 22% in 2010. The figure for education remained somewhatstable(1)but as itsaw a slightly slight decrease from 6.6% to 6.3%.[(1): The figure can’t be stable if it experienced a slight decrease.]
The percentage of spending went on in the other four categories, on the other hand, saw evident increases during the given periodperiods. The most dramatic increase was found in the proportion of spending on food, rising from 11.2% to 34% in 2010, by which time this category of expenditure had become the highest. Similarly, by 2010, the percentage of spending on health care, transportation and other had increased to 4.5%, 14%, and 19.2% respectively.
Overall(1), it is clear that the percentage of household expenditure on housing decreased(2), while that on other four categories increased(3). The figure for education remained stable(4) during the these 60 years.[(1): a good cohesive device for concluding task 1; (2): decreased " declined; distinctive vocabulary to avoid too many repetitions of ‘decrease’; (3): increase " rose or surged; distinctive vocabulary to avoid too many repetitions of ‘increase’; (4): remained stable " quite steady; distinctive vocabulary to avoid too many repetitions of ‘stable’]
Feedback· Word Count:175 words, minimum required 150;The word limit is appropriate – good work! Always try keeping the word limit from 150-180.· Task Response – Well doneYou have reported most of the important results – good work.· Coherence & Cohesion – Well doneYou have made some good use of cohesive devices and your ideas flow in a logical order in general– good job!Try incorporating a conclusive cohesive device such as ‘overall’.· Lexical resource – Very Good – Well doneAs such the vocabulary is very good, but make sure you use your words distinctly and do not make too many repetitions. Please note the usage of ‘disbursements’/ ‘spending’.Try to incorporate some sophisticated vocabulary, such as ‘rose’/’peaked’ instead of ‘went up’. · Grammar & Accuracy – Very Good – Well doneA good variety of structures is used with simple and complex sentences with just a few grammatical errors – good work!Overall this task 1 deserves a 7.5 band – keep it up!读完了这整篇文章，是不是发现所谓的大词难词并不多，大多都是一些比较基本的表达，而且语法上也没有特别 “绚丽” 的用法，但却足以构成一篇7.5分的A类小作文。所以大家不需要对Pie Chart有恐慌心理，照着方法写下去，用清晰明了的写法即可~ |
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